Top Online Dating Mistakes I See

June 10, 2025

Do you want to know some of the top online dating profile mistakes that I see as someone who has seen thousands of online dating profiles, both as a participant, but also as a dating coach. This is one of the first things I do with all of my clients. We actually revise and transform their dating profiles and do multiple editing drafts to make sure that it’s exactly perfect.

Okay, so the first thing that I see a lot is that we are telling and we are not showing. What does that mean? It means that you’re saying things like, I’m spontaneous, but girl, everyone has a different definition of what spontaneous means. So you’re going to have to say, instead of I’m spontaneous, I like to do random cartwheels, ok? That’s going to show them what that means to you and that will give the reader a better understanding of who the hell you are.

The second thing that I see often is that on profiles, especially on prompts, like hinge prompts, people are focused on the what and not the why. For example, if the prompt is, what’s your favorite pasttime, instead of saying baking sugar cookies, you have to give the why. Why do you love baking sugar cookies? The ‘why’ might be that it reminds you of when you used to cook with my grandmother during the holidays and that it gives you that nostalgic feeling! That gives me so much more of an understanding of who the hell you are again!

The third thing that I want to offer to you is that you’re not asking questions. The objective of your online dating profile is not to find your husband. The objective is to start conversations. So one of the things that I tell my clients, and what I want to tell you as well because you all are my special clients, is that after every mini paragraph that you have in your online profile, I want you to ask the reader a question so that you can start and engage in that conversation.

So if you’re sharing,

“Hey, I like to do XYZ on the weekends”… The question after this statement can be “What do you like to do on the weekend?

That inspires the reader to reach out to you. And that’s why my clients have 2-3 times as many messages as they normally would have.

And then the fourth and final piece of advice I’d want to offer here is that oftentimes when people are describing what they’re looking for, they’re being quite specific. “I’m looking for people that really like to read, and if you travel a lot, definitely reach out to me.”

There may be people out there who might be your guy who might not be like a total reader or someone who doesn’t travel a lot because he’s working so much. So we want to be broad when we’re talking about who we’re looking for. I’m looking for someone who likes to have a good time and doesn’t take himself too seriously, and likes to laugh. This way you can do the filtering when you’re engaging with these men, and not actually cutting them off as they read your profile.

I hope this helps to level up your actual online profile.

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